I’m Going Through a Divorce, What Should I Do Next?
Before you end it, what if there’s another way?
You might be in a season you never thought you would face.
The word divorce has been spoken. Maybe you said it. Maybe your spouse did. Everything feels heavy. There is confusion, fear, sadness, and exhaustion. You are wondering, what do I do next? Is this really the end? Is there any chance things could change?
At Known Counseling, we meet people right at this point. Couples who feel disconnected and worn down. Individuals who have already talked to divorce lawyers but still feel torn inside. People who are not sure if their marriage can be saved but also not sure they are ready to give up.
We are not saying every marriage can be saved. Some cannot. But before you make a permanent decision, it is worth exploring whether there is another way.
Slowing down before making a permanent decision
When emotions are intense, it is natural to want clarity quickly. But many people later say, “I wish we had waited before signing those papers.” Divorce is permanent, and sometimes it happens before the deeper problems have been understood or addressed.
Our first encouragement is to pause the decision. You do not have to know today what will happen. You only need to decide to look a little closer before you end it. Slowing down gives you time to breathe, think, and see the situation more clearly.
Why it is worth trying another way
Research shows that about 70 percent of couples who attend marriage counseling experience meaningful improvement, and many stay together.¹
Other studies show that couples who go through therapy tend to communicate better and handle conflict with more understanding than those who never seek help.²
Even when a marriage does end, counseling often helps couples separate with more clarity, compassion, and respect. But for many, counseling becomes a turning point toward healing, even when hope felt impossible.
We have seen couples who were distant for years begin to reconnect. We have seen people who had already called divorce lawyers find a sense of hope again. We have seen marriages begin to change when just one person decided to try differently.
No one can promise that your marriage will survive. But you deserve to know that you tried every possible path before choosing divorce.
What to do if you are considering divorce
If your marriage feels like it is at the breaking point, here are a few steps that can help.
1. Pause before deciding
You do not need to make a life-changing decision in a moment of deep pain. Give yourself time to slow down and get perspective.
2. Get professional support
Work with a trained counselor who can help you understand what is really happening beneath the arguments and silence. A neutral guide can help both of you see patterns that are hard to notice when emotions are high.
3. Try small, steady changes
Healing often begins with small shifts. Simple kindness, listening without defense, and taking responsibility for one thing at a time can begin to change the tone.
4. Evaluate honestly
After a season of effort, ask yourself what has changed. Am I more seen? Do I feel safer? Is there movement in how we talk and respond? Even small progress is worth paying attention to.
These steps do not guarantee that your marriage will survive, but they can help you make the decision with greater clarity, confidence, and peace.
When counseling helps you see more clearly
Many couples come to counseling when they feel done. The sessions are not about fixing everything overnight. They are about helping you understand what is happening, what each person needs, and what options you still have.
For some, counseling helps them rebuild and reconnect. For others, it helps them separate with less resentment and more understanding. Either way, slowing down and getting help brings more clarity and less regret.
Known Counseling can help
At Known Counseling, we specialize in helping couples who are on the edge of separation or divorce. We are not here to pressure you to stay. We are here to help you slow down, make sense of what is happening, and explore every possible path before making a permanent decision.
Our work is practical, compassionate, and evidence-based. We help couples learn new ways to communicate, understand emotions, and build safety again.
We serve Thornton, Northglenn, Westminster, Broomfield, Brighton, and the greater Denver area with both in-person and telehealth sessions.
You do not have to face this alone.
Schedule a free 15 minute consultation with Known Counseling to talk about where you are, what you are feeling, and what options might still be available for your relationship.
References
The Wellness Counseling Center. Marriage Counseling Success Rate: How Many Couples Stay Together After Counseling? (2024)
Beasley, C. C., et al. Meta Analysis of Emotionally Focused Couples Therapy Outcomes. Journal of Marital and Family Therapy, 2022
Alliance Legal Group. Divorce Rates After Marriage Counseling. 2023