COUPLES & MARRIAGE COUNSELING | SERVING WESTMINSTER, CO
Having the Same Fight?
You might love each other and still feel relieved when the conversation ends.
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HSA / FSA ACCEPTED
EFT & GOTTMAN METHOD
What is Couples Therapy?
Couples therapy is a structured process that helps partners recognize and change the relationship patterns keeping them stuck. Marriage counseling generally refers to the same kind of work with married partners.
The goal is not to decide who is right. Your counselor helps both of you understand what happens beneath criticism, anger, defensiveness, or withdrawal, and then practice safer ways to communicate, repair hurt, and reconnect.
These patterns are predictable and changeable. The fight isn't really about the dishes, the phone, or the in-laws. It's about a cycle underneath, and once you can see the cycle, everything starts to shift.
The Topic Changes. The Pattern Stays the Same.
The dishes. The phone. Money. Sex. Parenting. Work. The in-laws.
What starts the argument changes, but the ending feels painfully familiar.
One person may push harder because distance feels unbearable. The other may become defensive or withdraw because disappointment feels like failure. The pursuit creates more withdrawal, and the withdrawal creates more pursuit.
Before long, you are fighting the cycle while believing you are fighting each other.
Best day to begin was yesterday, the second best day is today
You may recognize your relationship here:
You keep having the same fight with different details.
One partner wants to talk immediately while the other shuts down.
Small concerns turn into criticism, defensiveness, or anger.
Apologies end the argument but do not restore trust.
You feel lonely even when you are sitting beside each other.
Affection or sexual intimacy has faded.
A betrayal has changed how safe the relationship feels.
One or both of you has started wondering whether the marriage can continue.
What We Help Westminster Couples Work Through.
Studies on EFT have found that:
About 7 out of 10 couples who complete EFT move from distressed to no longer distressed.
Around 9 out of 10 couples show meaningful improvement in their relationship satisfaction.
Most couples keep those gains one to two years later when they continue to practice what they learned.
Recurring conflict and emotional shutdown: You may know exactly how the argument will end before it begins. We help you recognize the moments when conflict escalates, understand what each reaction is protecting, and respond differently.
Emotional distance: You still manage schedules, children, bills, and responsibilities, but the relationship feels more like a partnership on paper than a shared life. Counseling can help you begin reaching for each other again.
Trust and betrayal: Affairs, pornography, secrecy, and broken promises can change the emotional ground beneath a relationship. We help couples approach repair honestly without rushing forgiveness or minimizing what happened.
Sex and intimacy: Different levels of desire, shame, rejection, exhaustion, parenting, and unresolved conflict can all affect physical intimacy. We begin by making the subject safer to discuss.
Trauma and old relationship wounds: Past experiences do not remain neatly in the past. Childhood wounds, previous relationships, loss, or betrayal can shape how quickly someone feels rejected, controlled, abandoned, or unsafe.
Parenting and major life transitions: Children, blended families, career changes, illness, grief, and caring for parents can place enormous pressure on a relationship. Therapy provides space to address the relationship underneath the logistics.
Faith and spiritual conflict: Faith can be a source of strength, but differences in belief, church hurt, shame, or misused spiritual language can also create distance. Christian faith can be included when both partners want it to be.
A marriage that may be ending: If one partner wants to repair the relationship while the other is uncertain, standard couples therapy may not be the right first step. Discernment counseling can help you determine what kind of decision you are actually making.
What we help couples work through
✓ Communication & Conflict Same fight on repeat. Escalation. Shutting down. Defensiveness. We teach you how to fight for the relationship instead of against each other.
✓ Emotional Disconnection Feeling like roommates. Loneliness inside the marriage. Drifting apart over years. We help you rebuild the emotional intimacy that brought you together.
✓ Trust & Betrayal Affairs — emotional and physical. Pornography. Secrecy and broken promises. Trust can be rebuilt, but not by pretending. We guide the honest version of that work.
✓ Attachment & Old Wounds Anxious and avoidant patterns. Childhood trauma showing up in marriage. The chase-withdraw dance. This is where our practice goes deeper than most.
✓ Sex & Intimacy Mismatched desire. The intimacy that stopped after kids. Shame that makes it hard to even talk about. Emotional safety comes first — we start there.
✓ Marriage on the Brink One foot out the door. "My spouse wants a divorce." Discernment counseling for couples deciding whether to stay. Even if only one of you is sure — start here.
“Most conflicts in relationships aren't about a lack of love. They're about a lack of communication and understanding.”
— Dr. John Gottman
Next Step
Schedule a no pressure, 15 minute phone consult.
We will listen, answer your questions and help you decide whether this is the right step for your relationship.
You have already been trying to fix this on your own. You do not have to keep doing it that way.
COMMON QUESTIONS
Before Counseling
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Choose couples therapy when:
Both partners are willing to work on the relationship, even if you disagree about what is wrong.Consider discernment counseling when:
One partner is leaning toward divorce while the other wants to preserve the marriage.Consider individual therapy when:
Your partner will not attend, or anger, trauma, anxiety, depression, or emotional shutdown needs focused individual attention.Tell us about safety concerns before scheduling:
Standard couples therapy may not be appropriate when there is active violence, intimidation, coercive control, or fear about what will happen after a session.You do not need to diagnose the relationship yourself. Tell us what is happening, and we will help you identify an appropriate place to begin.
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We do not bill insurance directly. We accept HSA and FSA cards. We can give you a receipt (called a superbill) to send to your insurance. They may pay you back part of the cost
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You can contact Known even if your partner is uncertain. If your partner will not participate, individual counseling may help you work on your part of the relationship. If one partner is considering divorce, discernment counseling may be a better starting point.
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Yes, if you want it to be. Faith can be part of your sessions if it matters to you. We don't require it, and we won't leave it out if it's a big part of your relationship.
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It depends on which counselors have open times that week. Most couples get an appointment fairly fast, especially if you're willing to see any of our counselors instead of waiting for one person.
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It may help you identify the recurring interaction underneath the changing topic. Your counselor can help you slow the pattern down, understand what each reaction means, and practice responding differently.
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Yes. Counseling may address affairs, pornography, secrecy, and other broken agreements. The work can include stabilizing the immediate crisis, establishing boundaries, taking responsibility, and determining whether and how trust can be rebuilt. Therapy does not guarantee reconciliation or rush forgiveness.
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