Known Counseling — Couples Tool
Building Us
A guided couples goal-setting worksheet grounded in Gottman, EFT, and ACT. Do this together.
Where Are We Going?
Answer individually first — without looking at each other's answers. Then share and write your summary together.
Honest Assessment
Rate each area from 1–10. Be honest, not blaming. This is a starting point, not a verdict.
Start, Stop, Continue
Simple but powerful. Be specific — vague answers don't create change.
Three Core Goals
Three max. Focus beats ambition. For each one: what it is, why it matters, and what it looks like in real life.
Conflict Plan
Write this before you need it. Couples who have a plan de-escalate faster and repair better.
Emotional Safety
This is the deeper layer — below behavior. Most couples work on what they do without addressing what they feel. This section changes that.
"Love is not just a feeling. It is a decision to remain emotionally accessible and responsive."
— Dr. Sue Johnson, EFT FounderCommitment
This is the difference maker. Feeling motivated is not the same as being committed. One is a feeling. The other is a decision.
Are you willing to work on this relationship even when you don't feel like it?
Answer honestly. If the answer isn't yes — the goal isn't real yet, or the belief needs work first.
Weekly Check-In
10–15 minutes, once a week. These four questions are the structure. Set a recurring time right now.
Your Anchor Statement
This creates identity, not just goals. Couples who see themselves a certain way act accordingly — even when it's hard.
Your Relationship Plan
Review this together. Return to it monthly. Let it be a living document.
Our Vision
Reality Check Ratings
Three Core Goals
Our Conflict Agreement
Want to go deeper with a therapist? Book couples therapy at Known Counseling →