There is a particular morning that a lot of people describe to me, and it usually catches them off guard.

Nothing dramatic happens. You make coffee. You get in the car. And somewhere in that ordinary stretch of a Tuesday, you notice you were not thinking about the divorce. Not because you forgot, and not because it does not matter anymore, but because your mind was simply somewhere else, on something that was just yours, for a few unguarded minutes.

Your daughter is quiet in the back seat, and you can see her in the mirror looking out the window, and you know something is on her mind because you know her face.

Finally, without looking at you, she asks it. Are you and Dad getting a divorce?

Somewhere around month two or three, after the worst of the shock has passed, a strange thing tends to happen.

You are standing in your kitchen, or driving somewhere ordinary, and a question surfaces that you were too overwhelmed to even ask in the first weeks.

You signed the papers, or you found out, or you finally said the sentence you had been avoiding for years, and somewhere in your mind you expected a feeling to arrive. Relief, maybe. Clarity. Something that would tell you this was the right thing, or the wrong thing, or any thing at all.

This is Part 4 of our series on the Gottman Method and Christian marriage. Part 1 introduced why faith and research work well together. Part 2 covered everyday conflict and repair. Part 3 looked at what it takes to build real friendship and shared meaning. This part is for a different kind of pain. It is for the couple sitting in the wreckage of a betrayal, wondering if there is a way through.

This is Part 3 of our series on the Gottman Method and Christian marriage. Part 1 introduced why faith and good research work well together. Part 2 looked at conflict and repair. This one is about what you build once the fighting gets better.

Here is a question worth sitting with.

If you and your spouse stopped fighting tomorrow, would you actually know each other?

A lot of couples come to counseling to stop the pain. That is a good and necessary reason. But something interesting happens after a couple learns to fight fair and repair well, the way we talked about in Part 2. The war calms down, and then there is quiet.

And in that quiet, some couples discover something surprising. They fought so long and so often that they never got around to building anything. They know how to survive conflict now. But they are not sure they know each other anymore.

A Thornton therapist explains why men feel angry all the time, why the anger once made sense, and what it takes to actually change the pattern.

How Christian couples can use the Gottman Method to handle conflict, repair after arguments, and forgive well. Part 2 from Known Counseling in Thornton, CO.

Why Does My Child Fall Apart at Bedtime?

Some kids hold it together all day, then fall apart at night.

Bedtime can bring out worries, tears, anger, stomachaches, fear, or one more reason not to sleep. Your child may not be trying to be difficult. They may be tired, anxious, overwhelmed, or carrying stress from the day.

At Known Counseling in Thornton, CO, we help kids and families understand what is happening underneath the behavior and find calmer ways forward.

We support families from Thornton, Brighton, Broomfield, Westminster, and nearby north Denver communities.

Reach out when your family is ready.